Wednesday, April 24, 2013

No Regrets



Nothing better than indulging in some spoonfuls of guacamoles... yeah for good fats!


















I saw this online the other day and thought it was wonderful and brought tears to my eyes so wanted to share.



"We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.  "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.

That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her
baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming
children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.

I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.

I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.

I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.
Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart."

~Author unknown
Posted by Amber



Now I'm no where near close to having this conversation with Maeve, but I'm in the midst of internal struggles with myself.  I'm literally almost sick to my stomach about leaving my child for 9 days, but also so excited to explore somewhere new that I feel like a kid on Christmas morning.  I know I'm a good parent and couldn't love my kid more than I do, but I am still feeling guilty for leaving her, even in the care of her AMAZING grandparents, who couldn't be more excited to have such quality time with her.  I think this little story brought everything into perspective for me.  I knew I always wanted to be a parent.  I knew I was only going to marry someone that would be an amazing father.  I knew I would love my kid very much, but I did not know that I would love my kid this much.  Which isn't a bad problem to have, but it makes hopping on this plane tomorrow to go halfway around the world a little tougher.  9 days is a long time and I hope she doesn't remember that we were gone in a month, but I am approaching this trip with no regrets.  We will both miss her dearly, but have such strong hopes that we would explore this world and see places that we previously only read about in books.  

Much, much more to come...

Friday, April 12, 2013

Unrest

I'm dragging alittle today as little Miss was up last night, possibly from a nightmare? We all have been pretty good lately with sleeping.  She'll usually cry out at least once a night, but it last no more than a minute and she'll get back to sleep.  Last night was longer and didn't seem like she was quieting down so I went in there and tried to calm her down back to sleep.  Unfortunately the transition from my arms to crib was not as smoothly as she liked and crying began again.  I ended up bringing her in to bed with us, which hardly ever happens and I now I know why... she seemed to wake up more, wanted to watch Minnie, and just flop around in bed not sleeping.  It took about 2 hours before she got back to sleep so we all were alittle tired this morning.  Plus she got comfortable sleep horizontal so thank goodness for King size beds! I'm hoping for a more restful weekend for all of us! 

I took her into school about an hour later than usual and got to watch all of her friends greet her with hugs.  What a nice way to be welcomed every morning!  One of them, sweet Audrey, gives daily morning hugs once Maeve arrives each day.  

Here are a couple quick phone pics as of late... our favorite spot on most days during winter is the back room checking outside for squirrels and birds.  This was a lucky day as there was a bunny hanging out. We even brought a carrot out to see if he would take a nibble.   
 Just enjoying a snack and watching alittle Minnie Mouse after school last Friday... cheers for the weekend and that it's still bright out when we get home!
 I love how she crosses her legs ands hands.  She seems so grown-up lately and she really rocked those red pants that day at school! 

Sunday, April 7, 2013

The days are long... the nights are not...

As I've been reminded a couple of times over the last couple of weeks, my blogging has been non-existent.  Many of my evenings lately have been filled with hours at the laptop doing some work.  Miss Maeve has an abundance of energy and is certainly keeping us on our toes.  She is talking up a storm and will pretty much repeat anything we say.  She is working on lots of names and is getting pretty good at Please & Thank You. Thank goodness that weather has been warming up as we are all getting more time outside.  She's been pretty cute in the tub too.  Not only is she all about laying on her back, but now she'll flip over on her belly and stick her face in the water to blow bubbles.  I'm hoping her love of the tub continues on to the pool this summer.  She's also running, climbing, and generally getting into everything.  It's exhausting, but so cute and fun.

Here are a variety of pics from the camera:

Getting into EVERYTHING 

 Winter Fun out in the Snow
 Taking the baby for a walk
 Neither of us realized that Ryan took this, but as you can see there is a small resemblance :)
 Her hair is really growing
 Eating some snow again
 Ha - her expressions are priceless
 I'm definitely saving this one for high school.  She was so serious about trying to go outside.
 No Mom - let's switch to zebra boots instead.  Totally makes more sense.
 Maeve and Brady
 Umm so where is that darn Easter basket.  You told me to look behind the curtain. 
 Our little Easter bunny.
She wasn't too happy with the pictures and passed out in the car right after this for a quick cat nap, but she was looking so cute.  Hope everyone had a nice Easter!

Love these kinds of weekends...

I wrote this 2 weeks ago, but never got to pictures...

These are the kinds of weekends I wished happened all of the time.  We had a perfect mix of relaxation and fun!  It's been a couple of weeks since we've seen most of our friends so we decided to have a little get together with a couple of friends on Saturday night, which included both adults & kids!  It's amazing how it only takes a couple of extra little bodies to make you feel like need a bigger house.  Regardless of the madness it really was such a fun night.  Maeve was in heaven with lots of play mates and all sorts of new ideas like jumping of couches and standing on chairs.  But I digress...

So this might have been the easiest get together I've had.  To keep it simple I did the main course (BBQ & mac & cheese) and asked my wonderful friends to bring either an app or dessert.  What better way to save yourself some time than to get help from others - and they did not disappoint.  I attempted something new and made BBQ beef brisket in the crockpot.  It needs to cook 9 - 10 hours so I had to get an early start.  Maeve's still getting over this cold and woke up crying at 4:30am.  It didn't last long and she was back asleep, but unfortunately I just couldn't get there myself.  I laid in bed for a bit before finally giving up and just heading to Wegmans.  By 7:30 I'd done my grocery shopping, had a brisket cooking, coleslaw made, and coffee done.  Maeve and Ryan were still sleeping.  Regardless of the early start, the party was so fun.  The kids were great with very few tears.  At one point, my friend Jeanne and I were in the living room with her son Brady and Maeve and I eating dinner, when Brady stopped to say "This Mac N Cheese makes me so happy".  He is such a sweetheart and I think Maeve and Brady will be lifelong friends/cousins.  The mac n cheese did come out pretty well.  There were multiple comments about how these parties certainly have changed.  Gone are the days of shots, drinking games, and 3 hour dinners.  It took me the first 2 hours of the party just to finish my first beer, I ate dinner in 5 mins sitting at a kids table and the only organized game played was twister and what I think was a soccer game with a zamboni (shopping cart) cleaning the floor during intermission.  Change is more than good sometimes.

The weather has still been cold, but we had a great rest of the weekend.  We danced to some music, colored, and read books.  We were  upstairs cleaning and putting laundry away and Maeve played for at least 30 minutes with a purse, necklaces, and bracelets of mine.  She just keep putting them on, taking them off, putting them in the purse, taking them out of the purse, rinse and repeat.  It was amazing!  Our girl is really growing up. Maeve slept in both days for her tired parents and even took a solid nap on Sunday, which allowed both Ryan and I to get a 2 hour snooze as well!

This week we went to the doctor for Maeve's 18 month check-up.  Weight = 24lbs, 4 oz and Height = 32 inches, 44th and 52nd percentile respectively.  She still seems like a peanut, but is morphing into this little girl... no baby any more :(  Except for the biting.  Her first full week in the Duck room did not go without incident.  We had 1 full report, which requires a signature, and 2 "Well we had an issue today".  This is usually the first thing they say at the end of the day.  Fortunately, no one was hurt and they were able to remove Maeve from situation before she attacked, but it's never fun to hear.